One of my dirtiest secrets has been the fact that I still wear maternity jeans. Only close friends and some family are aware. Actually, almost all of my pants are maternity because I have that disgusting floppy paunch in front thanks to my c-section scar. I've been told that it NEVER goes away, no matter how skinny you are. I think I could deal with wearing size 16 jeans if it weren't for the saggy chunk of my belly that would be forced under the waistline giving me that completely undesirable look known as the FUPA. A FUPA, for those of you who may be uninformed is an acronym for Fat Upper Pussy Area (Replace pussy with penis if you're referring to a dude). Obviously you have seen, or know people who suffer from this. I have REFUSED to be one. A few months ago, after it seemed as though I was back on track and losing weight Mike dragged me to try on normal pants. The ones that did zip up over my gut looked horrendous, so much so that I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I went right back to my maternity jeans, and have refused to consider regular pants until my stomach goes down significantly, ie: where I don't have to tuck sagging skin below the waist.
Everyone who knows about this tells me I should just suck it up and go to Lane Bryant and buy some properly fitting clothes. My argument is that I don't plan on staying this way, so why should I throw a ton of money down the crapper for comfort, when in my opinion it will only encourage me to slack off and remain obese? I think my point is logical, but nobody else really agrees.
I know I am in denial, there's no arguing that I refuse to admit I'm bigger than how I feel, but I feel like my normal self trapped in a significantly larger body.
I know I'm not the only woman who has dealt with excessive baby weight, but I seriously cannot take hearing any more bragging from all the girls who have given birth after me bragging about how they fit back into their size 2 jeans again after like....3 weeks. It makes me so jealous, I can't even stand to leave the house most days meanwhile they get to wear normal clothing. Even my mom bragged to me about how she left the hospital in her pre-pregnancy jeans after having me. Thanks MOM!
Sorry for the rant, but sometimes I just need to get stuff like this off of my chest. Hopefully in a few months time, this won't be an issue.
-Nicole
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